cheat day #1.

holy moly.
i survived week one of the slow-carb diet...and my cheat day was magnificent. i told chad that i wanted to eat "as many cookies that will make me not want to eat cookies again for another week." i did just that. by 9:30 last night, i felt sick to my stomach from eating so much (ha ha ha). it was glorious.

i got my delish pumpernickel bagel with plain cream cheese and chocolate-caramel mocha before church. i was pleased. then, during 1st service, i ate an old-fashioned donut (complete with chocolate icing). during second service, i ate 2 rice krispy bars, chocolate on top...obvs. we got back to the operations center around 2, where there was tortellini in alfredo sauce (thank you, Jesus!) patiently waiting, along with some assorted godiva chocolates that someone gave to us. mmmm. we went to chad's afterward, around 4. while there, i ate:
-one seven-layer bar
-3 chocolate chip cookies
-2 pieces of pizza
-some buffalo wing chips
-the inside of 3 oreos
-some dr. pepper and root beer
-half a banana creme pie blizzard.

so glad i got my ice cream in there. i was worried i wouldn't get it! ;) overall, it was a successful cheat day and i look forward to my next one. obviously, i have quite the sweet tooth. i just can't help myself! in all reality, though- i'm already noticing a little more looseness in my clothing. come on, slow carb! i love thee!

the slow carb diet.

okay. i'm on day one of this "slow carb diet" from tim ferriss's book "the 4 hour body." i've known a few girls who have done it and had good results, and it's made for people who simply don't have the time to do full-on workouts. i used to spend 40ish minutes at the gym 4 times a week, and i lost a ton of weight. now, i'm lucky if i can find the time to do a 15 minute walk! with this diet, you're supposed to only do some light cardio and strength training (and never on the same day), or else it will work the opposite and you'll gain weight! yikes! the diet is great, but i can tell it's going to wear on me...oh well, results are results, right? i just have such a sweet tooth...essentially, you don't eat anything but beans, green vegetables, and meat for 6 days out of the week. but then there's the cheat day. the glorious cheat day. ferriss suggests that you eat yourself into oblivion on the cheat day, ingesting all things delicious that you miss throughout the week. i've been operating on a 'sunday is cheat day' mentality for the last couple of years, so this shouldn't be hard for me. i'm just so glad that i get to eat ice cream on that day! here are the things i'm definitely going to partake in on my cheat day:

• ice cream (and lots of it)
• macaroni & cheese (and probably other pastas)
• fruit
• sunday morning bagel
• sunday morning donut (i know, i know)
• pizza
• cookies
• candy (lots of chocolate, please)

just thinking about it gets me excited. haha. i just need to lose like 20ish more lbs. i'll be doing long walks on mondays, wednesdays, and fridays...and doing some light weightlifting on tuesdays, thursdays, and saturdays. it should be good! i've also got chad and some others keeping me accountable (because we know i need it!)...i can't wait to see the results! i hope they come sooner rather than later! :)

overwhelmed.

it seems so fitting that the day after i post all about my wonderful internship, i come to write about how overwhelmed i am right now. upon entering this internship, i knew that my big, sunday afternoon, italian family dinners wouldn't be able to happen for a year (i'm at church till 5pm on sundays). i knew that i wouldn't be able to pop over to my sisters' houses to see the kids multiple times per week (i have intern duties 2 nights a week and i live 30 mins away). i knew i'd miss my dog (she lives with my mom & dad). i knew all of this, yes; but it doesn't make it any easier. now that i'm 8 weeks into the internship, i'm really starting to miss the freedom of just laying around when i get home from work. i miss having every saturday off and it frustrates me that chad and i have to work really hard to find a time where we can go to the apple orchard before it gets too cold. my good friends ben and jen are in town this week and yesterday i had a mini-meltdown because i realized how hard it's going to be for me to find time to see them. i just want more days in the week! more hours! i found myself dreading my intern duties yesterday. i found myself wanting to complain and get bitter about all of the stuff i've got going on. i wanted to crawl into my bed and quit.

after i regained my composure and realized that i need to get ready (and fast!) to get to dinner with chad, i decided i would just ignore my feelings and deal with them later (always the best of ideas, obviously). we had a good dinner, i kinda forgot about my wallowing-in-self-pity mood, and i went to bed. this morning, upon hitting snooze twice and then freaking out because i actually turned my alarm off and almost fell back asleep, i sleepily checked my e-mail. i get a daily devotional in there that i usually read when i first get to school, but i decided to read it while i was still in my warm bed in my dark room. 

it was a passage from matthew 20, and it was kind of lengthy. i was still half-asleep, but some of this text struck a chord in me that spoke very clearly to my feelings yesterday. it said simply this:

"whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant

...for even the Son of Man came not to be served, 

but to serve others." 

wow. talk about conviction! it's so amazing to me how God, in the nicest, gentlest way, will just kinda hit me with exactly what He wants me to hear...even if it's something that's going to convict me and put everything into perspective. He is so wonderful. i know why i'm interning at substance. i know why God has called me to something greater and why i'm following Him. He's doing incredible things and i am so happy to joyfully serve where i can at my church- to see His Kingdom furthered. i'm so honored and blessed. 

an intern journey = an interney (see what i did there?)

so. i posted a while back that i was praying about/thinking about interning at substance, and then i posted recently that i'm doing it...i realize many of you are dying of curiosity as to how this all came about. obviously. here comes my journey to interning at substance (which, by the way, we have a new & improved website over here).

i have been leading worship for a very long time. in the past 5 or so years, i've really realized the call that God's placed on my life to be a worship leader and to further His kingdom in that way. since december of last year (after a crazy break-up and tons of awesome life changes and lessons that the Lord brought me through) i've been leading worship and actively attending substance church. this church is unlike any church you've ever been to. i promise. we believe that church begins once the services end (i know you're thinking, "what?!")...as in, we really believe that church should be a community and that you should be doing life with people from your community. whether it's playing sports with them, doing a Bible study with them, reading a particular book with them, eating at various restaurants with them...you get the idea. our subgroups (small groups) have a 116% attendance rate- meaning that people who don't even come to our church participate in them. it's crazy. it's one of the fastest growing churches in the united states and we just launched our fourth campus. i love, love, love my church and the stuff that God's doing there. never in my life have i been a part of something so life-giving and full of such substance.

shortly after i started attending substance, i met chad, who is currently in his second year of interning there. he has a degree in youth ministry and is actively waiting until God leads him to the next level in ministry. we startred dating in march of this year, and things have been incredible (as you've clearly seen in previous posts). as i got more involved at substance, more people of influence (pastors, ministry leaders, etc) had begun to ask me if i was thinking about interning this year. the thought of doing it really excited me, but i brushed it off because i teach full-time and the bill was too big for me to foot on my own. after more and more people approached me about it, i decided to pray about it and see if it was where God was leading me. my prayer was simply this: "Lord, this seems appealing to me, but i'm not sure if you want me to do it. if this is in Your will, please lead me toward it and make it happen!" doors continued to open and everything was great. as far as most were concerned, i was going to be the newest worship intern at substance. then the money came up. i needed to raise $3,500...and fast. the total amount was due on august 1st and i didn't have a penny to my name to give over for most of july! i prayed about it. i gave it over completely. i sent out support letters and kept in close contact with the guy in charge of the money for the interns. by the end of july, i had raised a little over a thousand dollars (including an incredible gift from both my parents & chad's parents- so blessed by them!), which wasn't even a third of the total cost. i had pretty much decided and accepted that this wasn't going to happen for me.

we had an intern retreat over the last weekend of july, ending with our first official intern sunday on august 1st. andrew (the money guy) told me to go on the retreat and that we would discuss it with pastor mark (who is in charge of the internship) when we got back. so, i went on the retreat. i was a bit fearful that the retreat would make me want to intern even more and then i would come back and find out that i couldn't do it. well...the first part is true. after that retreat, i knew, i just knew that God wanted me to intern at substance. i didn't know how it was going to happen, but i knew i was supposed to be there. we had our first sunday and everything was wonderful. i had begun to mesh well with the other interns and i loved spending so much time working so closely with chad. once we were dismissed and allowed to go home for the day, i approached andrew about the money sitch. he brought pastor mark over and began to discuss it (they had previously talked about it). pastor mark looked at me and said "angie, we want you here. just give us what you've got." i instantly started crying my eyes out and thanking God for His faithfulness. He is so good. i know he wants me at substance and i know i'm following His call on my life. He simply wanted me to give it over to Him and to completely trust Him...and to be okay with His will if it didn't include interning at substance. if there's one thing He's showing me right now, it's that He is just SO faithful. He promises all these blessings on my life, and i'm seeing them happen! God is so good. just so good! this internship has put a lot more on my plate lately, but i love serving in my church and doing the Lord's work. He is good.

"let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess,

 for He who promised is faithful." 

Hebrews 10:23

a delicious birthday

wednesday was chad's birthday. all week long, i've been surprising him with little gifts (more about that later), but last night was the big deal. his roommate bill woke up early and made him breakfast in the morning...isn't that sweet?! ha. and when chad told him that he didn't know what i had planned for the evening, bill questioned, "what if she proposes?" haha. those boys.

here's how it all went down. complete with pictures (lucky you!).

here we are!

-he arrived to my house around 5:45, so that my roommate could take a photo of us on our night out. when i answered the door, he gave a loud "yes!" complete with a fist pump. you see, a few months ago, we were in uptown with david & kelly and stopped in to heartbreaker. i tried on this cute, army green little number that chad loved. he wanted me to buy it right then, but i wasn't totally sold. so i waited. last saturday, kk (my other roomie) and i ran down to uptown just so i could get it and surprise him with it on his birthday. he claims it was yet another present that i gave him that day. ha.

oooh la la

-then i gave him his gift. i just couldn't wait any longer! when chad and i first started dating, i remember knowing exactly what i wanted to get him for his birthday within the first 2 weeks. apparently i'm that girl. i found the exact watch that i wanted to get online back in march. unfortunately, it was completely gone. i decided i'd wait until the day came closer and would find something similar and equally as cool. shortly after school was out in june, i was doing a little shopping at rosedale and decided to stop in the fossil store to see if they had any good choices. i looked around and there it was! the exact one i had wanted. so i bought it. 3 months early. i could hardly wait for him to open it up. anna, my roommate, was there and was equally as excited. he loved it and said he had no idea what i was giving him. mission accomplished.



-our reservation at bar la grassa wasn't until 7, but we decided to head downtown and check out the scene anyway. i had been researching where to take him for dinner for a few weeks (birthdays are clearly a big deal to me). after countless hours on yelp (okay, maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration), i narrowed my choices down to 3 places, including la grassa. i made up my mind after looking online at their menu and seeing how many seafood options they had (chad loves the stuff), and after seeing a picture of their silk handkerchiefs with basil pesto.  my sister had also heard good things, so i figured it was worth the shot. now. there's something to be said about an italian girl choosing an italian restaurant for dinner. especially an italian restaurant that she's never been to. we're picky. nobody's red sauce is as good as my mom's. nobody makes authentic arancine (my favorite!). nobody has gelato quite like the kind i ate while sitting on the spanish steps overlooking the via condotti in rome. i'm snotty about italian food. it's true. so, going to la grassa was a bit of a risk for me. fortunately, it was one of the best risks i've ever taken. this place was absolutely incredible. here are some poorly taken cell phone shots of the food we ate...i was trying to be classy whilst taking them (cause who wants to look like the person who never gets to eat at nice places?).

ricotta & tomato bruschetta. i felt like i was in italy again. it was outstanding.

a very dark photo of the silk handkerchiefs. they melted like butter in my mouth and were covered in quite possibly the best pesto i've ever had.

chad's penne w/shrimp. it was all pan-seared and tasted amazing. i hate seafood, but i could have easily eaten more of this pasta. delicious!

after our delicious dinner, we popped over to uptown to go to sebastian joe's, home of chad's favorite ice cream: nicollet pot hole. this chocolatey, brownie-filled, sea salt-infused amazingness is something to behold. if you can get there, do it. do it! we rounded out our evening in our sweats, cuddled up and watching flight of the conchords. all in all, the evening was splendid. happy birthday to my love!

for some weird reason, it's taken me over a week to finish this blog. what gives, busy schedule? time to relax a little bit. now, if only i could find the time to do that...

i need a solution for my contact solution!

okay. i love target more than most people, but this is just ludicrous!

chad and i stopped in there to get a few things the other day, one of them being contact solution. now, you can buy the renu or opti-free or whatever you want for $8 or $9 a bottle, but i opt for target's up & up brand, which is just $2.99 for a 12oz bottle. it's good stuff. chad and i both use it. now, this particular target had only one single bottle of solution left, and a whole bunch of double packs. i know what you're thinking. chad and i both needed to get contact solution, so get the double pack...right? wrong! ONE 12oz bottle costs $2.99, and TWO 12oz bottles, packaged together, cost $7.04. so, if i buy the double pack, i'm paying $3.52 per bottle? how does that make any sense? i brought the one last single bottle up to the counter along with a double pack to explain this ridiculousness and to see if they would just ring up two singles but give me the double, since all other singles were gone and we needed 2 bottles so i didn't want to pay more because i was forced to and i didn't think that it was okay and...ahhh! come on, target! get it together! luckily, the pharmacy man was very nice to me and gave me the double pack as though i were paying for 2 singles. so...beware! something that may look like a 'value pack' may not be saving you any money at all!

back to life, back to reality...

school started today, so you'll be seeing many more angie-penned blogs these days. it's SO much easier to blog in the winter! there's just no time in the summer...you see, here in minnesota we take whatever summer we can get and soak it all in. now it's time to get back to the grind. i always feel like i'm ready to go back to school when mid-august hits. i felt this way when i was a kid, too. i need some structure in my life! there are a few things that come with the routine of school that i always feel guilty about during the summer: working out and eating right. as of today, my jillian michaels-style workouts begin once again! someone once told me that if you work out consistently for six months, you'll work out for the rest of your life. i think that's true. not because i love it, but because i feel so guilty about not doing it! and because i am simply terrified that i'm going to gain back the 50+ lbs that i lost a couple years ago. so here i am, getting back into my routine (which, if you know myers-briggs, i'm an "NP," so routine really shouldn't be my thing). i've got my coffee in one hand and my planner in the other. here i come! this year is going to be interesting, because i'm interning at substance and working full time. yikes!

my summer was great. it was hot, laid-back, and blissfully filled with love. here are some highlights:

being a part of the substance church intern army.

washington, dc for the first time with my niece and momma.

worship night @ substance. so powerful.

six glorious months with my love. 

twins games!

life is good. i live in an amazing apartment in the city with two incredible roommates and an unbelievable boyfriend who lives just down the street. i'm interning at one of the fastest growing churches in the nation and leading worship almost every weekend. God is good. i am so blessed and i can't wait to see what He has in store for the rest of 2011!

summer classes.

apparently i'm not very good at blogging in the summer. thousands of apologies. i just got done taking 2 very easy classes to earn some continuing education credits so my license doesn't expire. ahh, the things teachers do. i'm also nannying 3-4 days a week for a 16 & 12 year-old (i know, right?) and it's completely easy and mindless. i love summer.

i promise i'll be better at blogging. chad and i are going to milwaukee this weekend to celebrate his dad's birthday and the fourth of july. i believe a post with some pictures will be due in the near future. we're also going to go down to chicago on sunday night and get some delish italian ice from johnnie's beef and to spend some time with one of chad's best friends, evan. i love getting to chicago- my dad grew up there, so it's always fun to go back and get our favs, which include said italian ice. it will be great.

in the meantime, go look at this new website i've discovered, called pintrest. you can "pin" things that you love and categorize them based on what they are: foods, clothes, home decor, hairstyles, art, etc etc etc....here's my profile: angie fabulous

it's fun. try it! :)

we built this city ♥.

i know, right?!

i love my city. when i say love, i mean love. i was a total suburban girl all the way until college, so when i moved into st. paul, i felt very cosmopolitan. however, there's nothing quite like city living in minneapolis (which i affectionately call "the minneap"). i moved into a great little duplex in the northeast area of the minneap a few months ago with a couple of really great ladies. we have the cutest, little shabby chic place of refuge that is seriously adorable. our situation is especially great because we live right above 6 guys we know from church. my favorite guy even lives in our neighborhood about 2 blocks away...so we save a lot on gas when we want to hang out.

i love the minneap. there's so much to do and see- never a dull moment! it's all so close, too! we live in an ethnically diverse part...so tons of different asian, afghani, mexican, and mediterranean restaurants are [literally] in our backyard. how cool is that?!

the walker sculpture gardens

and now, i've compiled my top 5 favorite reasons to live in the minneap. enjoy. :)

5. everything's so close!
4. when i walk out of target, i have the best view. ever. ever ever ever!
3. when our neighbors light off fireworks, we automatically think they're gunshots and freeze in fear (okay not one of the top reasons, but it was really funny).
2. class. it's so classy to go hang down on st. anthony main and eat at the aster cafe. it's so classy to do yoga on the rooftop at the downtown ymca. it's so classy to hang out at the walker art museum.
1. the community. especially in northeast. i love going to non-chain restaurants and coffeeshops and talking to my neighbors. everyone is so lovely.

milwaukee on my mind

a beautiful day downtown

my sweet boyfriend and i went to milwaukee (where he's from) over memorial day weekend and it was amazing! his parents had asked us to come a few months ago, but chad was scheduled to work on memorial day & i was supposed to lead worship the sunday before...so we sadly told them we couldn't. but then...since it was the end of the month at the y, they gave chad the day off! i pulled some strings and made a schedule switch with my roomie anna (ahh the blessing of living with 2 other worship leaders), and we were good to go!

but here's the exciting part. besides all the goodness of traveling for a long weekend getaway and having the opportunity to spend time with chad's great fam, we decided it would be sups fun to completely surprise them. so...friday afternoon, we were on our way!

after an excruciatingly long 5.5 hour car ride (with a stop for squeaky cheese curds), we got to the house around 8:30pm. we had been discussing whether we should just walk in and act like it was no big deal, or if we should ring the doorbell and have them find us at the door. since it was 8:30 and nobody would be expecting company, we decided on the latter. more shock value, of course. so, all goofy and whispery, we snuck to the door and rang the bell. and waited. a few minutes later, chad's dad showed up at the door and loudly said "wha...what?" he was very excited to see us. his mom was watching a movie in their theater downstairs, so we snuck down there to surprise her, too. mark (chad's dad) went into the theater and said, "krista, can you come here? we have a problem." she came out, saw us, and squealed. after she hugged us a number of times, we went upstairs to hang out and get settled. it went exactly as we hoped it would.

little did i know, the surprises were not over. we were looking forward to having a weekend of 'nothingness' with his family. it sounded relaxing and so fun. but, chad had different plans in his mind. i was sitting on the couch catching up with his brother and dad when he came over and said, "actually, we have one thing we need to do on sunday..." and handed me brewers tickets! now, i love baseball. love it! and every time we've been to milwaukee, we've passed by miller park and i've wanted to go there. the brewers were in town and were playing on sunday, so chad got tickets. he knows the way to my heart. saturday was spent shopping for a brewers shirt, going out to lunch & dinner, and playing rummikub with his parents. it was blissfully relaxing and fun.

go brewers!

so sunday came, and we made our way downtown for the game. it was so great. we had such an awesome time. unfortunately, it was raining that day, so the retractable roof at miller park had to be closed. but, it was still baseball, and it was still my fav guy, and it was still lovely. i am still, however, not a fan of craig counsell. and i am still a fan of the twins before the brewers. don't go crazy on me for my newfound fandom (i think i made that word up).

after the game, we headed back to the house to hang out and spend time with his fam. on monday morning, we got up a little bit early and went down to the lake to walk and get some sun. it was an absolutely beautiful day! we stopped at alterra on the lake and walked around. it was so gorgeous and fun. after i got a good amount of sunburn, we headed back to the house to grill and spend the afternoon relaxing and hanging out. we headed back home around 5:30, and the song "back to life, back to reality" was ringing in my ears. i can't wait to get to milwaukee again soon!

top ten

earlier this week, a friend of mine challenged me to list my top ten favorite bands or artists. i find this to be overwhelmingly difficult...at first response, i want to say top ten in different categories. however, i think that might be cheating a little bit. so i bit the bullet. i came up with my top ten. in no particular order (besides #1 of course), here they are:

10.  incubus. they remind me of high school and my first few years of college. it brings me back.

9. bethany dillon. her lyrics and sweet melodies totally influence the artist that i've become. i love her stuff.

8. the civil wars. yes, they're new. and amazing. i've been a fan of joy williams's for a few years, so teaming her up with a guy only makes me like her that much more.

7. coldplay. i could listen to these guys forever and never get sick of them. so good.

6. sherwood. their pop-py, fun, summery sound always puts me in a good mood. always!

5. john mayer. sometimes the lyrics he writes speak directly to me. he's a triple threat. the voice, the lyrics, the songwriting...whew.

4. mumford & sons. yes, they're also relatively new. but there's a reason their tickets were selling for $400 on the street last time they were in the minneap. they are phenom. so, so, so good.

3. hillsong united. the worship tunes that these people come up with almost automatically bring me to my knees. every. single. song. they are just incredible.

2. brooke fraser. my ultimate hero. she inspires me. she's gotta be the most profound, articulate lyricist i've ever heard (without making it so "deep" that nobody understands what she means). her smooth voice with a hint of her accent here and there make all of her songs simply outstanding.

1. mutemath. mutemath mutemath mutemath! aside from the fact that they are one of the most progressively brilliant bands to come out of the last 10 years, their live show is something that no words can describe. they are unbelievable. each and every musician in this band plays a part that cannot be replicated. they are my ultimate #1.

His grace abundant

in my element

because i just got home from my long weekend away (which was glorious), i haven't yet gotten the chance to upload my pictures to make my memorial day weekend blog post much more exciting. but i will do that...soon!

until that time comes, i wanted to send you to read a guest post i did on the substance worship blog. i've been leading worship a few times a month at substance since december of 2010 and  i absolutely love it. when i was asked to do a guest post on the blog, i couldn't resist. especially since what i've written about is something that's been on my heart lately. so...go read it...here. 

mani[i found a]cure

for the first 26 years of my life, i bit my nails. when i say bit, i mean chewed down to complete nubs. i bit off every last piece that i possibly could. sometimes they would even hurt or bleed. disgusting, right? i know. one day, back in october of 2010, i decided i was going to be done with the disgust. so many of my friends had these beautifully manicured nails with the cutest colors (i'm all about the darks), and i was envious. never in my life had i been able to paint my fingernails. while i frequently visit the pedicure chair, i never got to have a pretty little manicure. i was over it. from that point forward, i stopped biting my nails. within a couple of weeks, my nails were long enough to paint and i stocked up on millions of different colors. i would paint my nails and wait, wait, wait. after what seemed like a ridiculously long amount of time, i would decide that they were dry and go on my merry way.

glory.

and then BAM! i would ruin one, two, three, or all of my nails. it never failed. every. single. time. this is a frustrating problem to have, if you've ever experienced it.

recently, i found a cure for this problem. a real cure. none of this "30 second dry," "express dry," or  "insta-dry" nail polish. no. those products lie. my cure comes in the form of a little square bottle and you can find it at my all-time favorite store, target. it's by essie, and it's called "good-to-go." someone recommended it to me, and it completely revolutionized the way i paint my nails. you use it as a topcoat and, literally within 2 minutes, your nails are completely dry. like it says on the bottle, trust me.

end of the year conundrum

i'm about to embark on something wonderful. something every teacher dreams of for 9 months out of the year. something everyone has experienced in their lifetime at least 13 times:

the last day of school.
oh the joy of the last day of school! this weekend chad and i are surprising his family in milwaukee for memorial day; a post summarizing what i expect to be a beautiful weekend is to come. after this lovely weekend, we have 7, yes 7, days of school left. one of which is spent going to valleyfair, so my kids aren't even 'counting' it. it's finally time. i can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. finally!

so why the conundrum? well...here's the thing... i'm just as excited as my kids to get out of this place for 3 months. they can sense it. i can sense their excitement. everyone is loud and things are moderately chaotic, and my soon-to-be-graduated 8th graders have checked out long ago. so, of course, i do the best thing possible: i assign all of my english classes extremely large research papers for their end of year assignment. they're going to be good papers. they're going to show me that my kids have learned something and grown over the last year. they're going to show me exactly what i'm looking for from these kids...

...as soon as i correct them. yikes! what did i get myself into!?

"let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." galatians 6:9.

(thanks to chad's momma for texting me this the other day in encouragement for completion of this year)

to intern, or not to intern?

i go to quite possibly the most amazing church in the entire world, substance. we have an incredible intern program that i am thinking about taking part of for the next year or two. i would be learning the ins-and-outs of being a worship pastor (obviously my ultimate dream job), all while leading worship and growing as a worshiper at substance. God has shown lots of favor in my place at substance, and this seems like the next step in my ministry there. many people have approached me about this opportunity and how great it would be for me. i've started filling out the application and praying for God's will in this area...

and then there's the matter of money. it will cost $3,500 for me to take place in this program. this money basically pays for all my meals, materials, resources, and a few trips over the next year. i'm a lowly schoolteacher, so there's not really much of a way for me to provide that amount of cash on my own. so i'm putting together a great support letter to send out to family and friends, but i'm very apprehensive that i won't get enough money and that i'll have to back out.

if God wants me to do it, He'll provide, right?

right! why is this so hard for me to grasp? He's promised to provide all my needs. philippians 4:19 says "my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus." man. i love paul. he just knows what's up. if God wants me to do this internship, He'll make a way. and when the way seems as impossible as it does right now, that just means there's more of an opportunity for Him to show up in a bigger, more miraculous way. i've gotta go for it and see how far He takes me. He's got it.

he loves me.

twins game :)

my boyfriend...wow. he is seriously the greatest man to ever walk this planet. i hope that every girl one day gets the chance to be loved the way i'm being loved right now. for the first time in my life, i'm in a relationship that is truly what God has created relationships to look like. and now that i'm here, i totally believe that waiting for this was completely worth it.

after getting out of a seriously deranged relationship last year, i read the book captivating by john & stasi elderedge. i learned all about what a God-centered relationship should really look like. i learned about how if my heart is after God, the right guy will be so captivated by me that he won't be able to help but pursue me. i learned that i'm not supposed to pursue, that i've been created to be doted on and treated like i'm something special. learning these things messed me up. in a wonderful way, of course. at the moment i found out all of this information, i did two things:

1. i made a pact w/myself & God that i would wait for the one He's created for me, for the one who would pursue me the way i deserved.
2. i vowed to share this information with the lovely ladies in my life who struggle from relationship to relationship, guy to guy, prospect to prospect.

and oh my...God is faithful! just a few short months after i honestly 'quit looking,' chad came out of nowhere and blew me off my feet. he pursues me. he dotes over me. he tells me i'm beautiful- every day. he points out the good in me. he makes me laugh. he treats me like i am worth the world to him. he is my best friend. he even prays with me. that is quality, my friends! i am blessed. i know my lovely girlfriends will be blessed, too, when the time is right. it's all in God's timing, which is hard for us to understand and to be patient with...but He is good and true, and He wants to bless us. He will!