mani[i found a]cure

for the first 26 years of my life, i bit my nails. when i say bit, i mean chewed down to complete nubs. i bit off every last piece that i possibly could. sometimes they would even hurt or bleed. disgusting, right? i know. one day, back in october of 2010, i decided i was going to be done with the disgust. so many of my friends had these beautifully manicured nails with the cutest colors (i'm all about the darks), and i was envious. never in my life had i been able to paint my fingernails. while i frequently visit the pedicure chair, i never got to have a pretty little manicure. i was over it. from that point forward, i stopped biting my nails. within a couple of weeks, my nails were long enough to paint and i stocked up on millions of different colors. i would paint my nails and wait, wait, wait. after what seemed like a ridiculously long amount of time, i would decide that they were dry and go on my merry way.

glory.

and then BAM! i would ruin one, two, three, or all of my nails. it never failed. every. single. time. this is a frustrating problem to have, if you've ever experienced it.

recently, i found a cure for this problem. a real cure. none of this "30 second dry," "express dry," or  "insta-dry" nail polish. no. those products lie. my cure comes in the form of a little square bottle and you can find it at my all-time favorite store, target. it's by essie, and it's called "good-to-go." someone recommended it to me, and it completely revolutionized the way i paint my nails. you use it as a topcoat and, literally within 2 minutes, your nails are completely dry. like it says on the bottle, trust me.

end of the year conundrum

i'm about to embark on something wonderful. something every teacher dreams of for 9 months out of the year. something everyone has experienced in their lifetime at least 13 times:

the last day of school.
oh the joy of the last day of school! this weekend chad and i are surprising his family in milwaukee for memorial day; a post summarizing what i expect to be a beautiful weekend is to come. after this lovely weekend, we have 7, yes 7, days of school left. one of which is spent going to valleyfair, so my kids aren't even 'counting' it. it's finally time. i can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. finally!

so why the conundrum? well...here's the thing... i'm just as excited as my kids to get out of this place for 3 months. they can sense it. i can sense their excitement. everyone is loud and things are moderately chaotic, and my soon-to-be-graduated 8th graders have checked out long ago. so, of course, i do the best thing possible: i assign all of my english classes extremely large research papers for their end of year assignment. they're going to be good papers. they're going to show me that my kids have learned something and grown over the last year. they're going to show me exactly what i'm looking for from these kids...

...as soon as i correct them. yikes! what did i get myself into!?

"let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." galatians 6:9.

(thanks to chad's momma for texting me this the other day in encouragement for completion of this year)

to intern, or not to intern?

i go to quite possibly the most amazing church in the entire world, substance. we have an incredible intern program that i am thinking about taking part of for the next year or two. i would be learning the ins-and-outs of being a worship pastor (obviously my ultimate dream job), all while leading worship and growing as a worshiper at substance. God has shown lots of favor in my place at substance, and this seems like the next step in my ministry there. many people have approached me about this opportunity and how great it would be for me. i've started filling out the application and praying for God's will in this area...

and then there's the matter of money. it will cost $3,500 for me to take place in this program. this money basically pays for all my meals, materials, resources, and a few trips over the next year. i'm a lowly schoolteacher, so there's not really much of a way for me to provide that amount of cash on my own. so i'm putting together a great support letter to send out to family and friends, but i'm very apprehensive that i won't get enough money and that i'll have to back out.

if God wants me to do it, He'll provide, right?

right! why is this so hard for me to grasp? He's promised to provide all my needs. philippians 4:19 says "my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus." man. i love paul. he just knows what's up. if God wants me to do this internship, He'll make a way. and when the way seems as impossible as it does right now, that just means there's more of an opportunity for Him to show up in a bigger, more miraculous way. i've gotta go for it and see how far He takes me. He's got it.

he loves me.

twins game :)

my boyfriend...wow. he is seriously the greatest man to ever walk this planet. i hope that every girl one day gets the chance to be loved the way i'm being loved right now. for the first time in my life, i'm in a relationship that is truly what God has created relationships to look like. and now that i'm here, i totally believe that waiting for this was completely worth it.

after getting out of a seriously deranged relationship last year, i read the book captivating by john & stasi elderedge. i learned all about what a God-centered relationship should really look like. i learned about how if my heart is after God, the right guy will be so captivated by me that he won't be able to help but pursue me. i learned that i'm not supposed to pursue, that i've been created to be doted on and treated like i'm something special. learning these things messed me up. in a wonderful way, of course. at the moment i found out all of this information, i did two things:

1. i made a pact w/myself & God that i would wait for the one He's created for me, for the one who would pursue me the way i deserved.
2. i vowed to share this information with the lovely ladies in my life who struggle from relationship to relationship, guy to guy, prospect to prospect.

and oh my...God is faithful! just a few short months after i honestly 'quit looking,' chad came out of nowhere and blew me off my feet. he pursues me. he dotes over me. he tells me i'm beautiful- every day. he points out the good in me. he makes me laugh. he treats me like i am worth the world to him. he is my best friend. he even prays with me. that is quality, my friends! i am blessed. i know my lovely girlfriends will be blessed, too, when the time is right. it's all in God's timing, which is hard for us to understand and to be patient with...but He is good and true, and He wants to bless us. He will!